OK, here is my Fall poem!
Since we all seem to be writing them!RipeOrchards teem with apple-cheeked children rustling tall grass like laughter, like October showers on finger-painted leaves. This season bursts with sugar, a...
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This series of fall poems is enjoyable. This one is well written with numerous images of ripeness and basking in the toils of spring and summer. It is a well worn and mature theme but one that will...
View ArticleRe: OK, here is my Fall poem!
erik, a fine Fall poem. Here's an edit to delete some words, cap others, and make this piece's juices flow; contrast and compare for ideas as you fine tune this:Orchards teem with apple-cheeked...
View ArticleRe: OK, here is my Fall poem!
Thanks, guys-- I appreciate your thoughts.I am trying to decide if I want to do more with "summer skin." As it stands now it refers primarily to the fruits and vegetables, but I introduce mouths in S5...
View ArticleRe: OK, here is my Fall poem!
I certainly like the autumn/ripened relationship metaphor but you don't want to overpower the rest of the poem. I think it fits with the children and sensuality of the piece. I got some of that from...
View ArticleRe: OK, here is my Fall poem!
Orchards teem with apple-cheeked children rustling tall grass like laughter, like October showers on finger-painted leaves. (Nice but its a mouthful. How about breaking it in half?) Orchards teem with...
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